you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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