Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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