man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
