We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
