When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
