call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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