Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
