I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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