but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
