Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
