that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
