Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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