they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize