Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
