she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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