What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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