I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
