don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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