Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
