Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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