Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
