he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
