That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize