i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
