No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Girls should come with a carfax report
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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