Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize