I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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