Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
