is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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