Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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