I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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