It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
