How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
