Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
