When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
