well you can't waste a boner
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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