I accidentally had phone sex last night
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
