i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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