So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
When are your genitals available?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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