Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
