just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
