I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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