Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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