I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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