i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
