So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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