Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
