Sry I called you an 8
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
