8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
