I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
