his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
