i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
