Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
