Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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