i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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