He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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