No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
