her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
