Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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