he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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