I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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