in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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