God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think my mom watched the whole time
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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