Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
