omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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