All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
