Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
