i jhust puked up my retainher.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
