Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
