Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
