I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
