my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
