worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
