So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
