she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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