Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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