haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
