Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I know her cup size but not her name....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
