Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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