would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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