I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize